Tuesday, 20 May 2014


Was it as bad for you as it was for me? Let's start a support group...

I watched the teaser trailer for Lost River last night on the iPhone. It started with one half of FitzSimmons (yeah, Agents of SHIELD baby) walking out of a house when suddenly...a burning bicycle drove past. I was like - actually I was laughing at the visual gag. It was hilarious. Definitely a good start. Plus the look on Iain De Caestecker's face (the guy who plays one half of FitzSimmons. Keep up!) was nothing short of genius. 

Then we saw Matt Smith's character Bully sitting on a car with no shirt on. Cue the fanservice. He grabs a mic and starts a mantra of 'Look at my muscles'. He keeps repeating it over and over and over again for the duration of the teaser. How freaking boring! They went from funny visual gag to shirtness mantra? Why?

I know it's meant to be a teaser, but still. Who were you targeting? The Matt Smith fangirls? Think they'd enjoy a little shirtless Doctor Who? I'm sure they did enjoy it, but what about the rest of us? Apart from the people who are going 'let's make a youtube video and loop 'Look at my muscles' for 8-10 hours', who else would enjoy hearing someone say the same thing over and over again for no apparent reason? I didn't.

The point of a trailer is to not give the WHOLE plot of the story away, just BITS and PIECES to allow us to see if we can't piece it together by the time the teaser trailer comes along. This trailer missed the point. It's meant to at least give us a very BASIC idea what the film is about without giving too much away. This trailer told us nothing except 1) Matt Smith is ripped, 2) the show has one half of FitzSimmons in it and 3) Bully likes to say 'Look at my muscles'. See? I've said that three times so far. It's annoying eh?

I understand that Doctor Who viewers will no doubt still want to see the movie because it has the Doctor in it. That's kinda what movies are all about. Half of you mind wants to see the plot and the other half wants to see your favorite actor/actress. I also understand that sometimes actors/actresses do movies solely just make their presence known and build a rep or because they need the money. Seriously people, that's how it sometimes goes. You might have a favorite movie starring your favorite guy/girl, but deep down that person just did the movie because they had bills to pay. For a list of Movies and Actors connected solely by the draw of money, check out this page and be shocked.

So far, that's what this movie looks like to me. Maybe it's just me, but I personally am more invested in a story's plot than the people in it. Regardless if it's audio, live action or anime, if it has a intriguing plot, I'll be there to testify to that. But Lost River doesn't feel like that to me. Perhaps, it's just a small stepping stone in Matt Smith's illustrious movie career. He's already been signed on for the reboot of The Terminator with a growing role in three films, so who knows? And no that wasn't meant to be a Doctor Who joke.

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