FIRST IMPRESSIONS - NINJA SLAYER

Well, first and last impressions really...

FUNimation’s broadcast dubs have really impacted dubbed anime in the western world and I have heard nothing but good things. So far, Assassination Classroom and Maria the Virgin Witch have impressed me the most. Not every anime appeals to every fan and I regret to report that Ninja Slayer is a few degrees off from being absolute garbage.

Guys, I don’t even know where to begin. The only positive thing I can say is that Chris Sabat is voicing the lead. That’s it. I’m sorry, this title is too awful to describe to you any further, but I'll try:

"The villain is the cardboard cutout on the right. The victim is a cardboard cutout on the left."

 

The first thing that stands out is the crappy budget spent on animating this ‘anime’. The animation in terms of actual movement is minimal. No 3D background. It’s like a bad 80s video game. The characters are poorly animated and jump and bounce on the screen like they’re in a Super Mario game from the early 90s. It’s bad. You know that animation doesn't normally bother me, but this is one title I can definitely complain about. The animation sucks. They might as well skipped it all together.

The plot doesn’t fare much better. We have a guy (don’t care about his name) who hates ninjas. And he goes out of his way to tell us this over and over and over and over…you get the picture. In fact, he hates them so much that he has now become a ninja himself in order to kill other ninjas. A little backwards view using forward thinking I suppose and the rest of the episode is basically just him beating up on ninjas with no other reason or build-up given save ‘I hate ninjas. You ninja, you die.”

"He is Ninja Slayer. He is a ninja, who slays other ninjas. He is a Ninja Slayer."  

The show’s saving grace is it’s 12 minute length. To be honest, I was thinking about turning off at 4 minutes, but I held out for the other 8. 12 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

Which leads me to ask: Why did FUNimation even bother acquiring this title. It's garbage. It has action, but lacks the other two basic components that draw in the three kinds of anime fans:

1) Intricate plot (Steins;Gate anyone?)

2)  Boobs! (Any harem I suppose)

"Code 1103: There's a 2D cardboard pile up at the corner of 5th and Main."

Now I don't mind shounen action as I love Fairy Tail. It's maybe the only heavy fighting anime I like right now. I love anime with great plots like Steins;Gate or romantic comedies. I don't care for the heaps and heaps of fanservice so excessive boobs also put me off, but I can't survive on Super Mario action sequences alone. I don't care who's voicing the lead. 

And the response around the web doesn't seem to be all that different to mine. I know I'm biased as I'm involved in the Yamada Project, but I couldn't help but wonder why FUNimation didn't just grab that title instead as it seems to be the real dark horse this season with a pretty unexpected fan following, plus is has a good plot and some fanservice. not a lot, but more than Ninja Slayer. That's 2 out of 3.

Rating this first impression: 1/10. Not fit to be an anime and sure as hell not fit to be part of FUNimation's broadcast dub.